Today, January 3rd, 2017 marks two years of marriage with my husband Garrett. The day of our wedding was gray, rainy, and cold. When we look back on our day, it is not the weather we remember but all the family and friends we got to celebrate with. It really was a perfect day! (And we did it on a budget, a post on this to come later!)
Most people say that marriage is hard work. While this is so true, marriage has also been the best two years of my life. Too cliche? Nah, I don’t think so. I believe that this is what God intended for marriage to be. In the two years since we have been married we have raised a puppy, got in a few fights (totally not about whose turn it was to take Finn out), bought and sold our first home, moved halfway across the country, budgeted and saved to pay off MOST of our debt, and most of all we have grown. Marriage has been an adventure and here are the three things I have learned most in the last two years:
Looking back at the couples I admire there is one quality they all have in common -laughter. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Laughter is so good for the soul and so good for marriage. Garrett constantly tries to make me laugh and goes to extreme lengths to do so. He even tries early before I have had my coffee when I am in pre-caffeine zombie mode. Who else can relate? But he succeeds almost every time and I am so grateful for it.
We try really hard to always end fights, or what we call “heated discussions”, with at least a smile or a laugh. Sometimes this is harder than others. This doesn’t mean hard things don’t happen and that our marriage is perfect. We are two imperfect people who God chose to be together. We are far from perfect and yes, marriage is hard work but marriage is also designed to be fun. Let me tell you, the hard work is a lot easier when it is fun.
Give and take is key.
Before we got married Garrett and I sat down and had a conversation about our roles and responsibilities for running our household, (which is very important to talk about with someone before you start living together.) We didn’t make a list of who does what but we decided that we would share the work and strive to both do our part. For example, if one of us cooks dinner then the other one of cleans up. Marriage is all about give and take.
Sure, our roles and responsibilities will change when we have kids, especially if I stay home. But for now, we both work full time so we split the work. As a kid, I watched my mom do everything and at the end of my parent’s marriage, she was exhausted. She once told me after their divorce that she gave constantly with nothing in return. I believe that give and take is key to a healthy happy marriage.
It ain’t always easy but it’s worth it.
Marriage is filled with up and downs, good days and bad days, tears and laughter (and on good days sometimes tears because of the laughter.) There are moments when we can’t see or feel what God is doing and have no clue the direction we are heading. In those moments, we stop and we pray together. Praying with your spouse and for your spouse is so important. I believe in prayer and its power.
Marriage is hard, people say this all the time. What they don’t say is that it is worth it. Marriage is worth all the bad days and all the tears. Garrett is my partner, my best friend, and the love of my life. Every day we get to grow together in good times and bad. Marriage ain’t always easy but it sure is worth it to me.
What are some things you have learned through your marriage? Comment below! I would love to know.